Listen.

I’m ready.

There’s no experience you can have that won’t teach you something. You can learn from anything as long as you’re willing to listen. If you listen, there is a lesson just screaming to be noticed. It’s screaming louder than the person you want to be that’s trapped inside of you. It’s screaming louder than your heart as you watch him walk away. It’s screaming to be noticed, like we’re all screaming to be loved.

What have you learned recently? Or what have you been afraid to listen to? What is it that you are humming so loudly for? What is it you are so desperate to tune out? Is it the sound of the lesson that’s chasing you? Or is it the sound of your heartbeat, begging you to hear the name it’s calling. Is it the lesson that you’re running from? Or is it them?

Them. That person that you fought so hard against. The person who made you run to this new experience that you have to learn from now. What about them made you run away? Were you afraid of what they could do to you? Didn’t you trust yourself to stay strong?

If you listen to your lesson, what is it saying? Is it tapping its foot impatiently, checking its watch and thinking about all the time you’re wasting dragging your feet through the dirt? Or is it waiting quietly, sitting with its legs crossed, glancing around casually like it has nothing better to do than wait for you to listen? It all depends on how you approach it. But its answer will be the same, only the manner in which you hear it will change. Edgy or patient, the lesson will be there.

I’m ready to listen to what it’s saying.

 Are you?

Seasons

Any good theatre major would know how you’re supposed to measure your life- in seasons of love. Rent told us that this is the best way in which to truly cherish your life. And really, who are we to argue with the Tony board?

But what is a season? According to them, every minute is a season. But coming from New York, I always saw seasons as purely something to do with weather. Really when the climate changes so drastically, it becomes engrained that the meaning is purely meteorological.

But when you come to Florida, everything changes. Life slows down, the sun is always out, and you train yourself to clap in the Gator formation. Therefore, a change in the way that one sees season is almost a rite of passage.

I finally understand the seasons of life now. This program, though it spanned 3 seasons of New York weather, was only one in my life. It was something that I had to break up my college experience, make amazing new friends, and really let myself loosen up a little. But I know that in less than a month, my car will be packed up and I will be headed on for my next season. This program will be the only season that is emblazoned with Disney’s seal.

But what about those that I’m leaving behind? I take for granted that they were one of a kind to me. I see my friendships with these people as very unique. But then, one has to remember that my unique season, that I will constantly bring up when cocktail conversations lag, is just another season to those that are always here.

They see waves of us, coming every six months with stars in our eyes, thinking that there has never been a program before us, and there will never be one after us. Yet sometime, we must realize that we may not be as special as we think we are. That inwardly, some full timers are probably waiting for the next group to come, or longing for the one that just left. 

How does someone really make friends like that?

It’s constant self doubt once you realize you’re not that special. And that your fantastic new friends have a whole new group coming in. Maybe the jokes you shared are one of a kind, or maybe they’re recycled from the last program. You can be whomever you want when your companions change every 6 months.

I hope to work here full time sometime in my life. At least for 2 years. I think there would be no greater test of yourself than seeing if you can stay consistent for that many waves of friends.

This is just my thought process. I could be totally off base. Perhaps my cynicism is hampering my ability to harbor long lasting relationships. Maybe a full-timer will read this and say that they have the best job in the world. Not because they have an unorthodox attachment to pink sauce, but because they make so many friends.  Maybe there is no greater blessing in the world. Or maybe it gives them abandonment issues.

I’d be curious to know how we're viewed here.

I personally hope to keep up my friendships from those I’ve met here. I hope when our next season comes, whether the weather is a factor or not, we can all make a little time to prove the cynic in me wrong.